Bismillah
I strike these keys by the qadr [decree] of Allah
Why am I so worried?
If my Lord has decreed trials ahead
they will reach me
and I should accept them as gifts
meant to teach me something
I am eager for good: a greedy slave.
Qur’an, chapter 100 (al-‘Ādiyāt), verses 6-8: “man is ungrateful to his Lord—and He is witness to this—he is truly excessive in his love of wealth.” [Haleem, M. A. S. Abdel; The Qur’an (Oxford World’s Classics) (p. 432). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.]
my quotation of the self-sufficient Lord, as well as the needy translator/interpreter, does not save me from the reality of kasb
Somewhere between me and You lies the choice I made to quote
Somewhere between me and You lies the reality that
I am still vacillating between Your raḥma [Mercy] and Your ‘adhāb [Punishment]
Qur’an, chapter 3 (Āl ‘Imrān), verse 142: “Did you think you would enter the Garden without God first proving which of you would struggle for His cause and remain steadfast?” [Haleem, M. A. S. Abdel; The Qur’an (Oxford World’s Classics) (p. 44). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.]
what can i do, beggar that i am, witnessed by my own non-volitional heart beat
but call on the One (الأحد) who brought me into existence
My Lord, forgive me (rabbī ’ighfirlī)!
My Lord, guide me (rabbī ‘ihdinī)!
My Lord, save me (rabbī ghithnī)!
I ask You for a good end (innī as’aluka husnā al-khātima) and I seek refuge in You from a bad end (wa ‘a‘ūdhū bika min sū’ al-khātima)!
I seek refuge in You from You (a‘ūdhū bika minka)!
Grant my prayer, O Most Merciful of those who show Mercy (āmīn yā arḥam al-rāḥimīn)!
And when the prayer is finished, my eternal neediness is still witnessed by the beating of my heart
not by my own choice
لا حولة و لا قوة إلا بلله
A Mercy Case 
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