In Ramadan

I feel it more

It burns me

I don’t want travel

nor adventures

nor books

nor experiences

– if I wanted the dunya, I would have taken it! –

I want You

I want the One for whom this whole thing matters

without You

this is nothing more than the play of history

“And We did not create the heaven and earth and that between them in play.”

Abbasids, Mu’tazilis, Khalidi Naqshbandis

Fez, Qum, Lucknow

Just words on a page

Empty words

But You

You who Exist

You who Are

You

There is no me without You

I did not create myself

“And he presents for Us an example and forgets his [own] creation. He says, ‘Who will give life to bones while they are disintegrated?’ Say, ‘He will give them life who produced them the first time; and He is, of all creation, Knowing.’”

So of what use to me is anything of this world

if it does not lead me back to You

just as the Beauty of the Worshippers said:

“let us taste the sweetness of Your affection and nearness

allow us to struggle in You

preoccupy us with obeying You

and purify our intentions in devoting works to You

for we exist through You and belong to You

and we have no one to mediate with You but You!”

الله الله الله