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Archive for the ‘Layla’ Category

The day Biden gloated about sending $15 Billion to keep killing Palestinian Children…

Posted in Ahl al-Bayt, Capitalism, Epistemology, Layla, Other Religions, Rohingya, Spiritual Stations, The Struggle on April 24, 2024| Leave a Comment »

“In order to understand this better, you may compare the relation of the divine agent to the Divine Principle with that of the rays of the sun to the sun. This is not an exact comparison, but it is true insofar as the rays of the sun have no independence with respect to the sun, and the divine agent similarly lacks independence with respect to that principle of absolute good from which its existence is derived -that is, it cannot come into existence or remain in existence independently. If the rays of existence depart from a being for a single instant it will not be able to subsist for a single instant, for just as it depends on the principle in order to come into existence, it also depends on it in order to remain in existence. Having no standing of its own, then, it is reabsorbed into the principle.

This being the case, the manifestation of God’s Names is, in a sense, identical with the names themselves. ‘God is the light of the heavens and the earth (الله نور السماوات و الأرض)’ – the light is the manifestation of God, not God, but the manifestation has no existence apart from the principal from which it derives. It is reabsorbed in it since it possesses no independence. It is in this sense that we are to understand: ‘God is the light of the heavens and the earth.’

Returning to ‘praise (الحمد),’ we see that the definite article has a generic sense and connects it with the expression ‘In the Name of God (بسم الله)’ which precedes it, so we concluded that every instance of praise, by whomever it is uttered, takes place by means of that which is praised; from a certain point of view, they are one and the same, the instance of manifestation and the general principle of manifestation.

When the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و آله و سلم) said, ‘You are as You praise Yourself (أنت كما أثنيت على نفسك)’ or “I take refuge in You from You (أعوذ بك منك)”, then the path of what is indicated is that the one who praises is effaced in the One Who is praised. It is as if God is praising God. No one else enjoys any real existence that enables them to say, ‘I am praising God,’ but it is God who praises God.”

[From the Lectures on Sūrah al-Fātiḥa]

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a theology for laylat al-qadr

Posted in Epistemology, Layla, Spiritual Stations, The Struggle on March 28, 2024| 1 Comment »

I was born in a hospital in Chicago in 1978.

It has been a wonderful journey.

Truly, I marvel at existence as such, and the fact that I am a part of it.

I know that I did not make myself.

Billions of human beings have believed in reincarnation, mostly in Asia.

I do not.

This life is all that I have ever known, and nothing has been able to convince me that I once inhabited a different human body, let alone an animal body. Because that belief is so far from my experience, it would require a radically powerful proof to convince me otherwise. I have never come across such a proof.

So here I am, this dude. This American dude.

I didn’t choose to be born a dude. I didn’t choose to be born with blue eyes. I didn’t choose to be born in Chicago in 1978.

But the fact of the matter is that at some point in time, perhaps somewhere between 6th-11th grade, I realized I had to choose.

I cannot but choose, as Sayyid Muḥammad Ḥusayn Ṭabāṭabāʾī has argued so effectively.

And I choose every day.

I have been choosing for decades now.

So I try to make the right choices.

Like Ḥurr b. Yazīd al-Riyāḥī.

In doing so, I am seeking to secure and amplify the mercy that I already feel envelops me.

With the blessings of al-Raḥmān seeking the blessings of al-Raḥīm.

Seeking refuge in You from You!

This blog is called A Mercy Case, after all.

Since 2008, I have used this as a place to speak freely.

As a place to lay my thoughts on (electronic) paper for others to see.

Hoping that they will catch something that I have missed.

Or correct me when I err.

But they are not there when I choose.

No matter what I do, I am alone when I choose.

And so the awareness of my choice leads me to a desperate need.

Because how can this American dude who was born in Chicago in 1978 actually know what the Creator of billions of planets – that I will never see in this life in which I am writing these words right now – actually wants me to do?!

Little old me.

What can I do but hope in uncreated mercy?!

What can I do but try each day, and have the good opinion of the Creator – of everything you and I know about – such that said Creator is fair and understands I am trying.

And so when I read in the Qur’an about another life after this one, I can believe in it. Because I already came once from nowhere to here. I have already experienced my own resurrection, so it is not illogical at all to believe that it can happen again. Of course it doesn’t have to happen again, but the Qur’an says that it will, and that seems like a trustworthy promise from the Creator.

So just as tomorrow I hope I do not undergo painful tribulations in my body, mind or heart, so too do I feel the same way about whatever will happen after my death. I want that life to be at least as good as this life, but hopefully better.

Everything else seems like details right now.

So on these nights, when hours become like years, I will hope for what lies beyond Earth.

For beauty, truth, pleasure and love that cannot be taken away.

For hopes that are not possible in my remaining years in this body.

For dreams that cannot even begin to rival the reality of my Lord’s generosity.

For everything.

Thank you, Allah, for making me.

There is nothing I can do to ever repay You.

But thank You.

Forever.

لا إله إلا الله

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The First Day of the Rest of My Life

Posted in Ahl al-Bayt, Ahl al-Sunna, Capitalism, Epistemology, Layla, Other Religions, The Struggle on October 20, 2023| 2 Comments »

This is an inflection point, and deserves writing down.

Earlier today I went to the Qur’an for answers, feeling so alienated from my American society on the 25th anniversary of my conversion to Islam.

I just started reading from somewhere in the middle, and this is what hit me most:

“They will answer: Hallowed be You! It was not proper for us to choose any guardian other than You. But You gave them and their fathers the comforts of this life, so that they forgot Your reminder and thus brought destruction upon themselves.” (25.18)

and then,

“It may be that you will destroy yourself with grief because they will not believe. But if We had so willed, We could have sent down to them a sign from the heavens so that their heads would be bowed down before it in utter humility. Whenever there comes to them any fresh warning from the Merciful, they always turn their backs on it. They have indeed rejected the message. But the truth of what they laughed to scorn will dawn upon them before long.” (26.3-6)

I can’t argue with God. I asked for an answer, and I got one clear as day.

The open call to Islam in the United States of America has been going on for decades. We are just 1% of the population, and our country is still controlled by war mongers who enjoy dropping bombs on Muslims. I grew up around billionaires, and I looked over the list of the 400 richest people in the USA earlier today, and not one of them reflects nor supports my most deeply held beliefs and values. I am a stranger (gharīb) in a strange land, where those with deep pockets and nuclear missiles think they are a gift to the Earth.

How did it come to this?

My Lord, I have no one but You.

I do not know what tomorrow will bring.

All I know is that You have always been with me, and I need You.

Every day I need You.

I am so tired of this.

But if continuing the struggle is what I must do, then that is what I will do.

If Prophet Noah عليه السلام called his people for hundreds of years, then how can I deny the favors of my Lord.

“Say: My prayer, my sacrifice, my living and dying are only for Allah, Lord of all the worlds.”

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The Caravan of Husayn

Posted in Ahl al-Bayt, Layla, Spiritual Stations, The Struggle on August 9, 2023| Leave a Comment »

peace be upon you

my Imam

how many are thinking about you right now

how many are sending greetings to you

how many are seeking your intercession

taking our place in the long line of lovers

going back centuries

Allah has given you the capacity

in the barzakh

to respond to us all

you are a reflection of your grandfather

a place of refuge

for the weary

the bereaved

the confused

the oppressed

and you listen to all

and you welcome all

please invite me back

please let me walk again to visit Abbas

and to turn and see your flag flying high

as I approach the sacred threshold

I do not have a plan to get there

but Allah is the best of planners

and I trust that it will be at the time

and in the way

that is best for me

for my time is running out

one day I will be gone

as so many millions have gone before me

faded pictures in a photograph

what did they whisper to you

my Imam

what were their names

where were they from

who did they love

what did they do

and are they with you now

may Allah and the angels carry my greetings

to every single one

and may you all be gifted

by means of al-Kareem

this salawat

for I am coming to join you soon

another soul

in the caravan of Husayn

اللهم صل على محمد وآل محمد 

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amongst the broken things

Posted in Ahl al-Bayt, Family, Layla, Spiritual Stations, The Struggle on July 18, 2023| Leave a Comment »

a bit of arm here

some blood over there

strewn across the battlefield

is God amongst the broken things

we build and build

homes and marriages and companies and machines and books

but they all have a shelf life

they all expire

everything always falls apart

we cannot resist the rising tide

that swallows our constructions whole

until all that is left

are the bits and pieces and traces and vestiges

of what once was

torn apart

by reality

and yet

in the brokenness

she saw beauty

for God is there too

and all the intentions of woman and man

remain

waiting for a Day

when our stories will finally be told

by the only One who saw it all

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The Humanistic Standards of International Secular Political Economy as an Expression of Our Faith in a Divinely Created Planetary Order Meant for Human Spiritual Development Rooted in Our Freedom and Personal Responsibility

Posted in Ahl al-Bayt, Capitalism, Layla, Spiritual Stations, The Struggle on May 23, 2023| Leave a Comment »

A faithful man is optimistic about the world, the life and the creation. Religious belief gives a particular shape to man’s attitude towards the world. As religion maintains that creation has a goal and that its goal is nothing but betterment and evolution, naturally religious belief affects the outlook of man and makes him optimistic about the system of the universe and the laws governing it. The attitude of a faithful man to the universe is similar to the attitude of a man living in a country about which he is sure that its systems, laws and formations are just and fair, which those who are at the helm of its affairs are sincere and well-intentioned, and that in it opportunities of making advancement are available to everyone including himself. Such a man will naturally maintain that the only thing which may keep him or anyone else backward, is the lethargy and inexperience of the person concerned, and that he and all others owe a responsibility and are required to do their duty. A faithful man will hold himself responsible for his backwardness and will not blame his country and its administration for that. He believes that if there is anything wrong, which is because he and others like him have failed to discharge their duty properly. This feeling will naturally arouse his sense of self-respect and impel him to move forward hopefully. In contrast a disbeliever is in the universe like a man living in a country about which he believes that its system, laws and formations are unjust and corrupt, and that he has to accept them against his will. The heart of such a man will always be full of malice. He will never think of improving himself. He will think that where everything is wrong, his own uprightness will be of no use at all.

Shahīd Muṭahharī, “Man and Universe”

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when i’m gone

Posted in Adhkar, Ahl al-Bayt, Layla, Spiritual Stations, The Struggle on March 31, 2023| 1 Comment »

when i’m gone

know that i was never truly here

for i thought so much of that other world

and the days were filled with planting

so now has come the time

to reap what i had sown

الله

when i’m gone

don’t cry for me

because i have gone ahead

to the land that i have dreamed of

in pursuit of the company

of the men who have inspired me

to follow their footsteps

الله

when i’m gone

know that i will still love you

and i will carry the hope

of our reunion

in gardens underneath which rivers flow

الله

when i’m gone

and there are no more breaths left to take

and no more plans left to make

know that the freedom i have craved

is finally within my grasp

الله

for my Lord has made a promise

based on the exit from non-existence

that brought about my short stay here

and if I cannot trust the promise of the Lord

and my own experience of existence

then trust does not exist

الله

there are journeys still unthought

and dreams for which i have fought

as time unravels and space starts to bend

in a somewhere without end

when i’m gone

لا إله إلا الله

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Shahāda/’Urs: whether happy or sad, i choose You

Posted in Layla, Spiritual Stations, The Struggle on January 8, 2023| Leave a Comment »

yā Laylā

i saw You dancing one day

in Chandni Chowk

and i was never the same again

i knew my father would not approve

You are not important to his business

his culture

his family

his empire

but i didn’t care

because i loved You

the kind of love that keeps one up late at night, burning for connection

and so when push came to shove

we were married

in a ceremony unattended by those from my world

and we had to go far away from where i came from so we could discover deeper levels of our love and commitment to each other

because i chose You

and i would do it all over again

and rededicate my life once more to making You happy

because i can never forget You dancing in Chandni Chowk

for You were the most beautiful

and always will be

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another american day

Posted in Adhkar, Capitalism, Epistemology, Family, Layla, Other Religions, Spiritual Stations, The Struggle on November 15, 2022| 1 Comment »

I spend every day as an American the same way I spend every other day.

With the choice to obey God or not.

With the choice to believe in God or not.

With the choice to believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins or not.

With the choice to believe whether Muhammad is a Messenger from God or not.

With the choice to believe whether Krishna is waiting for me in Goloka Vrindavan or not.

With the choice to believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster or not.

With the choice to believe that the world is flat and George Soros has funded the Great Reset and Q has exposed the Clintons or not.

Whether this is better or worse than the daily reality of other countries is a moot point, because if I truly believed that somewhere was better for me, then wouldn’t I be obliged to move my family there for the sake of Allah (like the Sufi Auntie who gave me the unsolicited advice to move my family to Istanbul and everything would take care of itself)?

America is my country by God’s Decree. God could have created me in the womb of a woman in Botswana or Indonesia, but that was not God’s choice.

I am simply trying to be where God has established me (كن حيث أقامك الله).

Over the years I have learned a lot from studying about and visiting Saudi, Egypt, Jordan, Pakistan, India, Kuwait, Turkey, Bangladesh, Spain, France, Iraq, Kenya, UK, Canada, Mexico, Panama, Sweden, Syria and Norway. There are places I have yet to visit that I believe it is important for me to learn more about, such as Iran, Vietnam, Afghanistan, South Korea, Chile, Japan, China, Philippines, Bahrain, Lebanon, Russia, Peru, and Brazil.

But none of them are my country.

I understand this sort of connection to a nation is not how some feel, but it is how I feel. It is my daily reality.

Islamic law is just another choice I face every day, and I choose to follow the best of what I have found, and that currently means I am a muqallid of Grand Ayatollah Sayyid Taqi al-Modarressi of Karbala. In that choice, I am in solidarity with other Americans, Britishers, South Africans, Iraqis and more.

But I can always change my mind. I used to be a Hanafi, and then a Maliki, and now I am a Ja’fari. With each choice, I feel I have moved closer to what God wants from me. But only God knows and only God can judge. May Allah accept from me the deeds I have done trying to be in conformity to Allah’s laws, ameen.

Life is a journey, and if there is anything I have learned, it is to expect the unexpected. I believe Allah constantly tests the sincerity of my belief, often in ways I never foresaw, and I have found Qur’anic proofs for that, such

“Do people think once they say, ‘We believe,’ that they will be left without being put to the test? We certainly tested those before them. And Allah will clearly distinguish between those who are truthful and those who are liars.” (29.2-3)

Whether or not you believe that about yourself is up to you to decide. May Allah make me from the truthful (الصادقون), ameen.

I share this because this is my reality. Every post you have ever read from me has been articulated against this socio-political backdrop. I recognize now very few of my readers share this experience, and often my readers expect me to articulate positions that mirror their realities. But I can’t do that. All I can do is be sensitive to the realities of others, and then act accordingly from the point in space and time in which I exist.

But it is also important that my readers are sensitive to my reality, and the inescapable conclusion that faith/belief/knowledge has always been a choice for me. No one put a Qur’an in my hand and said, “believe or perish!” I chose to read the Qur’an with my own freedom, to determine if I believed that God had spoken to humanity or not. At the same time I was first reading the Qur’an, I was reading the Baha’i scriptures for the same reason.

“Whenever Our Revelation is recited to them they say, ‘We have heard all this before – we could say something like this if we wanted – this is nothing but ancient fables.’ They also said, ‘God, if this really is the truth from You, then rain stones on us from the heavens, or send us some other painful punishment.’ But God would not send them punishment while you [Prophet] are in their midst, nor would He punish them if they sought forgiveness.” (8.31-3)

And so every day I invoke blessings upon the Prophet and seek forgiveness:

أستغفر الله وأتوب إليه

اللهم صل على محمد وآل محمد

It is my choice and my tongue, and I try to use it for the sake of the One who gave it me.

Not for my parents, whom I love dearly.

Not for my country, which is a part of me.

But for my Creator (الخالق), the One who made my existence possible (المحيي), the One from whom I seek benefit (النافع), the One in whom I seek protection from harm (الضآر), the One in whom I hope to the utmost extents of hope (الوهاب), the One who I fear more than coming to the end of my own existence (الجبار).

May my Lord accept from me, āmīn.

a book published 90 years ago about our family’s first 300 years in North America

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On Anthony Bourdain

Posted in Capitalism, Epistemology, Layla, Spiritual Stations, The Struggle on October 29, 2022| 1 Comment »

Like many people, I enjoyed watching the shows of Anthony Bourdain. I can’t speak for others, but for me, I lived vicariously through his adventures. It would be nice to travel that much, and see the world Allah has created, and all of its people. It is not that I wasn’t blessed to have that possibility, but rather that I chose to focus on other things. But he was a reminder that, “dear humanity, we most certainly created all of you from a single male and a single female, and made you into peoples and tribes so that you may know one another.”

A darker side of me, left over from my days before Islam, subtly wished I could just eat and drink anything like he did. If a people’s food represents something of themselves, he was willing to try almost anything, and thus experience all of what humanity had to offer. I had been that way before Islam, but Islam put a number of restrictions on that process that I sometimes struggled to embrace. Late at night, when I was tired from another day of struggling to address my spiritual wounds, it was fun to fantasize about having “no reservations.”

And so I, like many others, was shocked and hurt by his suicide. How could someone who lived such an interesting life, who was appreciated by so many around the world, take his own life?! For a long time, it didn’t make any sense to me. From what I have read, it seemed that his search for something higher, as expressed through deep love for another human being, fell apart and the pain was just too much to bear.

In a way, the pre-Islamic version of myself feels like it can intuit what he was going through. Perhaps he really felt there was nothing left to live for – he had already done everything he could think to do, and the one thing that filled his heart with joy was being ripped away and there was no hope left and no refuge. But the version of my self that has been shaped by Islam recoils in horror at such a worldview, and thinks of the Qur’an stating, “and the Earth, despite its vastness, seemed to close in on you.”

I am reminded of him now, and my private grappling with his death for the last 4 years, after reading this passage tonight:

“The heart of a believer is like a garden. A believer has to face material difficulties in the world. But he is not aggrieved of these problems. These thorns only prick the body and are confined within the boundaries of the garden. However, the garden of the heart has no place for these thorns. Even in this material world the soul of the believer is safe from all calamities. ‘for such there shall be safety, and they are the rightly guided.‘

The sole desire of a believer in this world is that his Lord should be pleased with him. Such a person does not despair due to failures and material setbacks. He considers only Allah as his guardian and the guardian of others. He recognizes the power, wisdom and mercy of Allah. He considers Allah his Master and considers himself His slave. ‘That is because Allah is the Protector of those who believe, and because the unbelievers shall have no protector for them.’

Thus a believer does not become sorrowful and aggrieved by the difficulties of this worldly life. They do not even make him angry. Allah keeps the hearts of the believer peaceful in this world also. ‘He it is Who sent down tranquility into the hearts of the believers.’

A believer always faces adversity with determination. He does not stumble, nor do his feet tremble. He does not fall down on this path. He knows that behind every calamity is hidden wisdom and he alone shall be eligible for the benefit of this hidden wisdom. All that he hopes from Allah is that He removes this difficulty or in this way recompenses it so that even the physical pain does not remain for him. ‘If you suffer pain, then surely they too suffer pain as you suffer pain, yet you hope from Allah that which they do not hope in.’

That is, you hope for salvation from problems, forgiveness and rewards, but the unbelievers have no such hopes. They remain forever in the darkness of hopelessness.”

I suggest listening to the recitation of each verse, available through the links. It reached my heart, and it reminded me of how much hope Islam gives me in the face of so much sorrow on this Earth, even from the sorrows that have nothing to do with war, disease, poverty, and oppression.

This hope doesn’t erase the sadness I feel when I think about Anthony Bourdain, but it does clarify why I never took him as a role model. And more than that, it makes me realize that Islam can address the realities of all Americans. The person I was becoming before I became a Muslim was more like Anthony Bourdain than Malcolm X. In fact, with the exception of Islam, I identify far more with Anthony Bourdain than I do with Malcolm X. I was never in an actual prison, needing redemption. I didn’t grow up facing structural oppression that limited my life choices. I was, like so many other White American men, in the prison of my own self, in what another White American Male suicide David Foster Wallace calls a “tiny skull-sized kingdom, alone at the center of all creation.” And it was there that I heard the call of a caller calling towards faith in a Garden whose expanse is vaster than both the heavens and the Earth, and that has made all the difference.

So when all is said and done, thank You God for sending me the Qur’an to guide me out of darknesses and into light, and please provide hope to all those whose hearts feel heavy when they think of Anthony Bourdain.

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