This is an inflection point, and deserves writing down.

Earlier today I went to the Qur’an for answers, feeling so alienated from my American society on the 25th anniversary of my conversion to Islam.

I just started reading from somewhere in the middle, and this is what hit me most:

“They will answer: Hallowed be You! It was not proper for us to choose any guardian other than You. But You gave them and their fathers the comforts of this life, so that they forgot Your reminder and thus brought destruction upon themselves.” (25.18)

and then,

“It may be that you will destroy yourself with grief because they will not believe. But if We had so willed, We could have sent down to them a sign from the heavens so that their heads would be bowed down before it in utter humility. Whenever there comes to them any fresh warning from the Merciful, they always turn their backs on it. They have indeed rejected the message. But the truth of what they laughed to scorn will dawn upon them before long.” (26.3-6)

I can’t argue with God. I asked for an answer, and I got one clear as day.

The open call to Islam in the United States of America has been going on for decades. We are just 1% of the population, and our country is still controlled by war mongers who enjoy dropping bombs on Muslims. I grew up around billionaires, and I looked over the list of the 400 richest people in the USA earlier today, and not one of them reflects nor supports my most deeply held beliefs and values. I am a stranger (gharīb) in a strange land, where those with deep pockets and nuclear missiles think they are a gift to the Earth.

How did it come to this?

My Lord, I have no one but You.

I do not know what tomorrow will bring.

All I know is that You have always been with me, and I need You.

Every day I need You.

I am so tired of this.

But if continuing the struggle is what I must do, then that is what I will do.

If Prophet Noah عليه السلام called his people for hundreds of years, then how can I deny the favors of my Lord.

“Say: My prayer, my sacrifice, my living and dying are only for Allah, Lord of all the worlds.”