A Mercy Case

You are the Most Merciful of those who show mercy! (7.151, 21.83)

You have given me so much

I am shy to ask for more

but then I remember that You have said, as related to us by Your beloved (upon him blessings and peace!):

“O My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you, to rise up in one place and make a request of Me, and were I to give everyone what he requested, that would not decrease what I have, any more than a needle decreases the sea if put into it.”

and so I ask

I ask the way that You taught us to ask

knowing that only You can give

or withhold

I do not know what is best for me

but I know what my heart asks for even when my lips do not move

I have always known

I just wasn’t strong enough yet to embrace it

but now You have covered over my weakness with Your strength

and You send me subtle whispers and clear signs

that have changed my life

like the dream I had last night

a dream that I will never forget

for Paradise never felt so close

and it was Paradise that wanted me

could it really be that I am desired just as I desire

that I am loved just as I love

that someone has been waiting for me

just as I have been waiting

and that my akwardness doesn’t matter

“believing I was unlovable. Which made no sense…because he told me there was someone loving me all those years.”

if it can be true for boys and girls in Brooklyn

bursting from one drop

then I am waiting

at the shore of Your sea

and You will always be

and always were

my source of hope

the Most Merciful of those who show mercy