I found this piece of writing in my files from 2007. It is as if I was writing back then to give advice to myself today.
In the Name of Allah, The Merciful, The Giver of Mercy
All praise is due to Allah
may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon Muhammad, His last prophet and messenger, who was a mercy to all the worlds
Rectification
Now, in this moment, on this day, in this place, what do you choose? Do you choose this life or the next? Do you choose obedience to your evil desires or obedience to Allah and His Messenger (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)? For perhaps you will die in a few hours. So although the choice does not seem so urgent, perhaps there is an urgency that you yourself are unaware of. No one knows when they will die, and when the moment comes, there will be no time left to change one’s decisions. Everything that one has done in life will be with one at that moment, for better or for worse.
“He who loves to meet Allah, Allah loves to meet him, and he who dislikes to meet Allah, Allah dislikes to meet him…” (Reported in Sahih Muslim)
How many sins do we persist in doing on a daily basis? On a weekly basis? Or worse, for years and years? How many good deeds do we pass by?! Or ignore?! Or worst of all, obstinately refuse to do?! How long will we remain where we are, as weak believers?
“The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both. Guard over that which benefits you, seek Allah’s assistance, and don’t lend yourself to things which do not benefit you. If something befalls you, then don’t say, ‘If I had only done such and such,’ rather say, “Allah ordained this and He does what He wills,’ for verily saying, ‘If I had only done…’ makes way for the work of Shaytan.” (Reported in Sahih Muslim)
We cannot change the past. At this moment, in this place, you are what you are, and you have done what you have done. But Allah is available at every moment, and waiting for us to ask Him for forgiveness, and He can wipe our slate clean.
“Allah the Allmighty said, ‘O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.” (Reported in Sunan al-Tirmidhi)
What more can we want than to hope that the Lord of all the worlds, the Creator of Heavens and Earth, the Master of the Day of Judgement, The Living One who does not die, the Knower of that which is in the hearts, The All-Seeing, The All-Hearing, The Eternal Refuge, The King of Humanity, The Lord of Humanity, The Overwhelming, Who is closer to us than our jugular veins, The One is whose hands are our souls; that He will shower us with a mercy that is far greater than the mercy that a mother shows to her child? He will forgive us our weaknesses, our selfishness, our evil inclinations, our doubts, our worrying, our wicked actions; and He will reward us for the best that we have done, however little it may be. Allah’s generosity is far greater than we can imagine, for all we have to do is muster some gratitude for His gifts, and He will give us even more.
“And when your Lord made it known: If you are grateful, I would certainly give you more, and if you are ungrateful, My chastisement is truly severe” (Qur’an, 14.7)
We can never catch up to the mercy of Allah by our own deeds. We can never repay him. But beware lest Shaytan uses this as an excuse to keep you from struggling in Allah’s way. He might come to you, mixing truth with falsehood, whispering, “Allah’s mercy is far greater than your insignificant good deeds. Why work hard for Him?” In order to dispel the whispers of Shaytan, we need only look to our guide, our imam, the mercy to the worlds, our beloved, whom we should love more than anyone else, Muhammad, the final Prophet and Messenger of Allah to humanity.
‘Ata’ reported: “I entered the presence of ‘A’isha and said: ‘Tell us about the most amazing experience you ever had in the company of Allah’s Messenger (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).’ She wept at first, but then she said: ‘Was there anything at all about him that was not a marvelous wonder? He came to me one night, and snuggled up beside me in my bed until his skin was touching my skin. But then he said: “O daughter of Abu Bakr, let me go, so that I may devote myself to the worship of my Lord.” So I told him: “I love your nearness, but I prefer to respect your dearest wish.” I therefore allowed him to take his leave of me. He got up, found a skin container full of water, and performed his ritual ablution, pouring a considerable amount of water in the process. Then he stood erect, and started to perform the ritual prayer. He wept as he did so, until his tears were streaming down onto his chest. Then he went into ruku’, and shed more tears. Then he made sajda, and again he wept. Then he raised his head, and wept still more. He went on like this until Bilal arrived on the scene, and so he told him about the upcoming prayer. I then said: “O Messenger of Allah, what causes you to weep, when Allah has forgiven you your earlier and later sins?” To this he replied, ‘”Should I not be a thankful servant? Why should I not do it, since Allah has sent down to me the words of revelation: ‘Surely in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the alternation of night and day, and the ship that runs upon the sea with that which is of use to human beings, and the water which Allah sends down from the sky, thereby reviving the earth after its death, and dispersing all kinds of beasts therein, and the distribution of the winds, and the clouds set in orderly array between heaven and earth–surely these are signs for people who can understand. (Qur’an, 2:164).”’” (Narrated in the Chapter on Thankfulness in al-Jilani’s al-Ghunyah)
How beautiful was the conduct of the Messenger of Allah (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) with both His Lord and the creation of His Lord! How aware he was of the realities of Allah’s greatness, and of the realities of our position in this world, as we wait to meet Him. And although our lives can never match the perfection of his life, and our deeds can never match the beauty of his deeds, and our states can never match the magnificence of his states, we must try to be true followers of him, so that Allah will love us. For it is one thing to love Allah, and another to be loved by Him.
“Say: If you love Allah, then follow me. Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. For Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (3.31)
Are we up to this challenge? Do we truly believe in the call of Muhammad (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), who called us to life, in order to bring us out of the darknesses and into the light? Or are we deluded by this world, groping after the trinkets that it offers us? Or are we blinded by our passions, preferring the call of our own desires to the call of the man whose whole being submitted to his Creator? Has Shaytan won in relation to us, or have we subdued him, as strong believers?
Whatever happened before does not matter. What matters is what we choose now, and what we plan to achieve in the future based on that choice. Allah alone can determine the outcome of our plans, but if our hearts change, and become full of sincerity to struggle for His sake alone, then we can hope in our rectification, and become the strong believers that He loves so dearly.
“…My success in only from Allah. In Him do I trust, and to Him do I turn.” (Qur’an 11.88)
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