“If this is all there is, Dave, then hold on to each moment of it with every ounce of your being.”
I loved life when I was younger. The world was so alive then, and I with it. But with each success, with each reaffirmation of my serendipitous good fortune, and with each painful challenge overcome, I began to want more.
For whatever reason, religion seemed to be the path to that “more.” And so I plunged into its depths, ever the window shopper. “Yes, I want more,” I told myself, “but not if it is not true.” I can feel the intoxicating warmth of a body next to mine, I can run through the dimly-lit streets at night with my friends, I can see somebody strum a guitar and feel my heart move accordingly. As a friend of yesteryear would one day write, “Say a prayer, but let the good times roll, in case God doesn’t show.” (may God grant him the most abundant blessings of this life and next, ameen)
“If this is all there is, Dave, then hold on to each moment of it with every ounce of your being.”
I was able to dismiss much of religion as a human construction, but there were things which, in their turn, challenged me. When that happened, my grip on what I knew, what I loved, would tighten. One of my greatest fears became the idea that I would trade the bounties of life for a lie. Only on my deathbed would I feel the pain of what I had missed, and by then it would be too late. Nothingness would come.
But after years of psychological, sociological, and philosophical due diligence, I came to believe that Islam was the truest way of understanding existence. I reached a point where I could not not be Muslim.
As the years went by as a Muslim, I struggled. It was much harder than I thought it would be, and my life before Islam became so shiningly idyllic, like the ever longed for Rosebud. Without even realizing it, I built up layers of resentment at my chosen faith. I felt like I had to just toil, and that was it. If it was God or the world, then how could I not choose God, even if it felt like it was making my life miserable? To do otherwise would just be to act in bad faith.
At a certain point, I found myself making prayers like, “Dear God, if You are pleased with me, and I can be with You, then please take my life now.” I made my choice then, and let go of everything I had been trying so hard to hold on to. When it didn’t happen, I thought, “Well, what now?” Ultimately, only God can decide those matters, so I just tried to do something worthwhile with my time here. I continued forward as best I knew how.
“If this is all there is, Dave, then hold on to each moment of it with every ounce of your being.”
But the thing about the world is that it is attractive and we get wrapped up in it. At first, we can show some restraint. But with each passing attachment, with each seductive opportunity passed by, we start to give in to her charms. I prayed for God to fill me up with something that would help me to deal with these trials.
He did, and God deserves all praise. I didn’t know it then, but I know it now. The choice is not between this world and God. The choice is between what we think this world is, and what it actually is. The snow encased branches of New Hampshire trees, the strains of melody that reach inside us, the comfort of the ones we love – all are more beautiful than we could ever have imagined, because they all reflect the Beauty of the One whose Beauty surpasses all. My heart has grown so much wider, as it expands to contain the love I feel for where God has placed me. How wrong I was. How blind I was. I am lost in the embrace of the Most Merciful, and I hope He never lets me go.
My dearest love, let me never again put anything above You. Let me live in a way that will please You. Let me never abandon You when things get tough. Take my hands, feet, eyes, and ears and turn them towards that which You want for us, and away from that which You do not want for us. Protect me from ever causing mischief on this earth, and allow me to celebrate Your praise and proclaim Your holiness, in this world and the next! And please forgive me when I make mistakes or am selfish, which will happen, but let me always return to You, with the hope that You will take me back. When we show up at Your door with tears in our eyes, you never let us stay outside in the rain, but rather bring us into the warmth and comfort of Your love.
If being in this world is better for me, then cause me to remain, and if being in the next is better, than cause me to leave. I am your slave.
“Hold on to this, Dave, with all your being, because there is so much more. So much more than you ever imagined.”
A Mercy Case 
ASAK subahanallah it is very nice and empressive .May AllahSWT bless you in your writing and give you reward for this .It is so true if you choose AllahSWT you get peace and your heart is content with HisSWT love and mercy. May AllahSWT open the door of mercy for all of us here and keep all of us on straight path under HisSWT guidence all the time.Ameen
Salaaams,
MashaAllah, this is such a wonderful blog! Keep up the good work! I already find myself returning to it waiting for the next post. I came to your blog through the link you shared on the ALIMni mailing list. I don’t know if you remember, but we once met briefly when you came down to a mosque in Reading, PA to welcome a new brother to Islam. I remembered the beautiful speech you gave before he took the Shahada, so I was especially excited when you sent the link to this blog. Your words, both spoken and written, are, mashaAllah, beautiful, beneficial, and sincere. May Allah increase you, reward you for your endeavors, and shower you with his Mercy and Blessings now and forever. Ameen.
wsalaams,
Mohsin Ali
Dear Dave,
Your post got me thinking about life–the real life–and Quran, the manual for a successful life. I was reminded of many ayahs. Below is the interpretation in context of some of them. They affirm much of what you have written and shared in your post.
Yes, hold on to life–to life itself! to the everlasting abode of the Hereafter!
Thank you for sharing!
There is simply nothing on earth like Quran, nothing at all!
This ayah from surah Ankaboot is the first that came to my mind, others follow.
(29:64)
For the life of this [fleeting] world
is nothing
but amusement and play.
But, indeed,
it is the abode of the Hereafter
that is, most surely, life [everlasting] itself,
if only they were to know
[what awaits them there].
_____________________
(41:30-32):
As for those who [in life] say:
Our Lord is Allah [alone]!
and continue upon the straight way,
and angels descend to them
[and say]:
Have no fear,
neither grieve!
Rather, receive glad tidings
of the Garden [of Paradise],
which you were promised [in life].
We are your supporters
in the life of this world
and in the Hereafter.
And for you therein
is all that your souls desire.
And for you therein
is all for which you may ask–
an [everlasting] hospitality
[extended] from One who is all-forgiving,
mercy-giving.
________________________
(7:32):
Say [to those
who would ban Allah’s blessings]:
Who is it that has prohibited
the adornments of Allah,
which He has brought forth
for His servants,
and the wholesome things
of [His] provisions?
Say [to them]:
Such things are [lawful]
in the life of this world
for those who believe–
and they shall be purely so
[for them alone]
on the Day of Resurrection.
Thus do We make distinct the [revealed] signs
for a people who [would] know
[Allah’s purpose for creation].
________________________
(42:36):
Yet all that you have been given
of anything [in life]
is [no more than] the [mere] enjoyment
of the life of this world.
But what is [awaiting] with Allah
is [far] better and everlasting–
for those who believe
and on their Lord [alone] rely.
________________________
(4:134):
Thus whoever desires
the reward of this world–
then [know that]
with Allah is the reward of this world
and the Hereafter.
Indeed, ever is Allah
all-hearing, all-seeing.
_________________________
(16:96-100):
All that is with you [in life]
shall come to an end.
But what is with Allah
is everlasting–
and We shall certainly recompense
those who have [remained] patient
with their reward,
[in accordance] with the very best
they ever did.
Whoever does righteous deeds,
whether male or female,
and is a believer,
We shall, most surely, cause him
to live a good life.
Moreover, We shall, most surely,
recompense [all of] them
with their reward,
in accordance with the very best
they ever did.
Thus, whenever you recite the Quran,
the seek refuge in Allah
from Satan,
the accursed [one].
Yet, indeed,
he has no authority [whatever]
over those who believe
and who rely upon their Lord [alone].
His authority
is only over those
who take him as a patron,
and who,
because of him,
take associate-gods
[apart from Allah].
_________________________
(3:185):
Every [single] soul
shall taste death.
And you shall [all]
be rendered in full
your rewards
on the Day of Resurrection.
So whoever is removed
far from the Fire [of Hell]
and is admitted
to the Garden [of Paradise],
truly he has triumphed.
For the life of this world
is nothing
but the [mere] enjoyment
of a delusion.
___________________________
(57:20):
Know that the life of this world
is but play and amusement,
and [sheer] adornment,
and a cause for boasting among yourselves,
and [an arena of] vying in wealth
and [in] children.
Its parable
is [that of] a [nourishing] rainfall,
the herbage from which
pleases the tillers of soil.
But then it dries up,
so that you see it turning yellow.
Then it becomes crumbling stubble.
[Even] so
shall there be in the Hereafter
severe torment,
as well as the forgiveness of Allah
and [His good] pleasure.
For the life of this world
is nothing
but the [mere] enjoyment
of a delusion.
___________________________
(41:46-54):
Anyone who does a righteous deed
[in life]
does it [purely] for [the good
of] his own soul.
And anyone who does an evil deed
does it [only in detriment] against it.
For never does your Lord
wrong [His] servants [in the least].
To Him [alone]
the knowledge of the [appointed time
of the Last ] Hour
is referred.
Neither do any fruits come forth
from their sheaths,
nor does any female conceive,
nor deliver,
but [that it is] with His knowledge.
Thus on the Day
when He shall call them [all to Judgment,
He shall say to the disbelievers]:
Where, [now,]
are My associate-gods?
They shall say:
We proclaim before You
that none of us is a witness
[to such associates].
Thus all that they used to call upon
[in worship]
before [in the world]
shall have strayed from them.
And they shall realize
that they do not have any asylum
[from Allah’s Judgment].
Man never grows weary
of praying for good.
But when evil touches him,
he becomes despairing and despondent.
Thus if ever We cause him
to taste mercy from Us
after harm has touched him,
one [who disbelieves], most surely, says:
This is [rightfully due] to me!
Nor do I think
that the Hour [of Doom]
will ever come!
And even if I am brought back to my Lord
[in the Afterlife],
most sure, there shall be for me
[a destiny of] great goodness
[awaiting] with Him.
Rather,
We shall, most surely, tell those
who have disbelieved
[the dire consequences] of all [the evil]
that they have done [in life].
Then We shall cause them to taste
a stern torment [for it].
For when We bestow grace
upon [such a] man,
he turns away [from Allah]
and draws himself aside
[from His worship].
But when evil touches him,
he becomes full of lengthy prayers.
Say [to the beliers of this Quran]:
Have you considered [your destiny]
if this [revelation] is, indeed, from Allah
and then you disbelieve in it?
Who, [then,] shall be further astray
than one who is in uttermost schism
[with its truth]?
Nevertheless,
We shall show them Our signs
in the horizons
and in themselves–
until it becomes [utterly] clear to them
that this [Quran] is, indeed,
the [divine] truth.
Is it not sufficient
that your Lord Himself
is witness over all things?
Most surely,
they are, indeed, [mired] in doubt
about the [promised] Meeting of their Lord
[on Judgment Day].
Most surely,
he He is, indeed,
all-encompassing of all things.
_____________________
(29:56-69)
O My servants who believe!
Indeed, My earth is spacious.
So [if you fear persecution,
migrate.
And] Me alone
shall you worship.
Every [single] soul
shall taste death.
Then to Us
shall you [all] be returned
[for recompense].
Yet [as to] those who believe
and do righteous deeds,
We shall, most surely, settle them
in [Heavenly] Chambers
of the Garden [of Paradise],
beneath which rivers flow–
wherein they shall abide forever.
How [exceedingly] commendable
is the reward of those
who ever do [the will of Allah]!
It is these
who have endured [life’s trials]
with patience,
and upon their Lord [alone]
do they rely.
For how many a beast
is there [treading the earth]
that does not carry [with it]
its [own] provision?
It is Allah [alone] who provides
for [each one of] them–
and for [all of] you!
For He is the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing.
And, indeed, [O Prophet,]
if you asked [the disbelievers]:
Who created the heavens
and the earth,
and subjugated the sun
and the moon
[to a fixed order]?
They would, most surely, say:
It is Allah.
How, then, are they turned away
[from worshipping Him alone]?
It is Allah [alone]
who extends [abundant] provision
to whomever He so wills
among His servants.
And He [alone] restricts [it]
for whomever [He so wills].
Indeed, Allah is all-knowing of all things.
And, indeed, [O Prophet,]
if you asked them:
Who sends down,
from the sky,
water,
with which He gives life to the earth
after its death?
They would, most surely, say:
It is Allah.
Say [to them]:
All praise is for Allah [alone,
who by their own word
confirms His proof against them].
But most of them
do not [use their reason] to understand
[their own contradiction of this truth].
For the life of this [fleeting] world
is nothing
but amusement and play.
But, indeed,
it is the abode of the Hereafter
that is, most surely, life [everlasting] itself,
if only they were to know
[what awaits them there].
Thus [in heedlessness
do human beings invoke false deities–
until such times
as] when they embark on ships
[and face danger at sea–
then do] they call upon Allah
[for rescue]
with [all] sincerity,
[devoting their] religion to Him [alone].
Yet when He delivers them
[safely] ashore,
immediately,
they associate gods [with Him,
once more].
So let them be ungrateful
for all [the good]
that We have granted them [in life].
And let them enjoy themselves
[a little while].
For, assuredly, they shall know
[the recompense of the ungodly]!
[Then as to the people of Makkah,]
have they not considered
that We have made [for them]
a secure Sanctuary
[in the precincts surrounding the Ka’bah],
while people all around them
are being snatched away
[in violence and strife]?
Then is it in false [gods]
that they will believe,
while in the blessing of Allah
they disbelieve?
Yet who does a greater wrong
than one who forges lies against Allah,
or who belies the [revealed] truth
when it reaches him?
Is there not in Hell
a [well-deserved] dwelling place
for the disbelievers?
But [as to] those who strive
for Us [alone,
against every evil],
We shall, most surely, guide them
upon Our pathways [to salvation].
For, indeed,
Allah is, most surely,
with those who excel
in [doing] good.
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