how can i find the words to express what i feel
my road to Muhammad goes through Husayn
it can be no other way
Karbala is Madina
Madina is Karbala
how can i sleep
for when i wake
something may distract me
from thinking of you
all i have is these moments
with aching legs
wishing to walk to you
and bloodshot eyes
longing to see you
in my heart
i can imagine the scene
one foot on earth
the other in Heaven
but i can only see a glimpse
of the beauty revealed
to Zaynab
i ultimately care not
for centuries of discourse
nor cultural continuity and contestation
they are only a means
so may this poem be obliterated to history
if it is nothing more
than a paragraph in someone’s dry essay
about 21st-century English lamentation poetry
what matters only
is if there is any sincerity
– a secret known only to al-Khabir –
behind the tears welling in my eyes
and the burning in my chest
as i dream of standing before your palace in Heaven
my fist about to knock on your door
a long journey’s end
what would i do at that moment
when you opened it
would i throw my arms around you
and sob on your shoulder
or lower my head in awe
unable to move
until you tell me what to do
i am nothing compared to you
nor will i ever be
but hope in Mercy
means it is all possible
please
whatever happens
and however my life unfolds
and in whatever state i die
i simply ask that you overlook my manifest faults
and take me by the hand
to introduce me
to your grandfather
i can no longer imagine visiting him for the first time
without you
“…Husayn is from me and I am from Husayn…”
Allahumma salli ‘ala Muhammad wa ali Muhammad