Archive for December, 2016


I write because I must. It is an urge that wells from within, and I have written far more than I have ever shared publicly. The fact that I have readers still amazes me.

But I have realized that there is a certain selfishness to my writing. I do most of the talking in this relationship, and you patiently listen. Perhaps you are even gracious enough to still keep reading after I say something that really bugs you.

But in this time of increasing disconnection and mistrust, I want to say that I appreciate each of my blog followers, and all those who end up reading a post here or there. I need to do a better job of serving you, as fellow human beings.

There is so much that is unreal about our lives, and our online presence only increases it. How many of us actually know something substantive about those with whom we passionately disagree or agree with? We shout out at the world, but how often do we really listen. We want accountability for others, but how often do we make ourselves accountable to others?

And so I just wanted to say that you are welcome to tell me what you think really matters. To tell me how I might better serve you, through my writing or some other means.

I might be able to benefit you, by Allah’s permission, and I might not. But at least I can stop for a moment with my perspective, my concerns, and my passions, and reorient my writing to think about you. Unique and irreplaceable you.

Maybe there is nothing you need from me. That is quite all right. But at the very least, know that right now I am praying for you to receive everything that you hope for and more.

We are both servants of a Lord whose treasures are never exhausted.


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Dear Layla

Dear Layla,

All I want is You.

I sat on the bumper of a car because my legs could not hold me anymore, and I cried tears of desperation. Heaving, shuddering, buckling under the weight of separation.

Then suppose, My God, my Master, my Protector and my Lord that I am able to endure Your chastisement, how can I endure separation from You?

You are so beautiful. So intoxicating. So perfect.

I want to spend forever with You.

And I cannot endure the pain of Your withdrawal.

Do not walk away from me.

Do not turn away from me.

Do not ever leave me to be in this world without You.

I cannot bear it, Layla.

I am just a man. A simple man. And You are You. Magnificent You.

I smell You in the evening wind.

I feel You against my skin.

I taste You in every joy.

And the yearning.

The yearning.

You are the One who started this.

I am only responding to Your smiles.

Your promise.

If I cannot trust that You will not break Your promise to this weak man than I have nothing.



I will cry to You with the cry of those crying for help; I will weep to You with the weeping of the bereft; And I will call to You, ‘Where are You!’

looking up at Your apartment window

the soft glow of the light of Your home

so far from my grasp

while I am cold, wet, and shivering on the street below

heart burning

yearning with every desire I have ever had

for one moment in Your embrace


There is nowhere else to go

I will stand on this street until I pass out

and even then

I will hope that You will come pick up my motionless body

and bring me into Your home

because that is all I want

all I have ever wanted

expressed in a million ways

in moments remembered


and yet to come

لا إله إلا الله


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